My husband and I walked into her hospital room and saw her frail, 83 year-old body resting, her white crowned head turned away from the door. I stood quietly for a moment, yellow gowned and blue gloved, watching Aunt Lois sleep. The rise and fall of her blanket gave reassurance that she was still with us. So many emotions were flooding over me, fond memories warming my heart. She started to stir; I softly called her name. She opened her eyes and said with a gentle, shaky voice the sweet term of endearment of my aunts and uncles, “Oh, Dawnie,” and suddenly I was a little girl again, coming to spend the night, or cook with her, or play with her Avon samples.
She reached out her thin hand. I could feel the coolness of her fingers through my hospital gloves. My husband, Terry, asked how she was doing, and she responded “My stomach is a little upset, but I can’t complain.”
She can’t complain.
Six months ago, Aunt Lois suffered a major heart attack. Since then, she has fought C. diff, a contagious bacteria that causes possibly life threatening colitis (hence the gowns and gloves). This is her third round in almost six months. The C. diff led to her being transferred from her mostly independent living facility in Plainfield to a nursing home in Brownsburg, causing her to be separated from her husband of 66 years. My Uncle Jerry is on oxygen and cannot travel very far from home. After being separated for a few months, he transferred to a room in the more independent building of her nursing home, riding his scooter over to her building for visits. Due to Uncle Jerry being more independent, he was not allowed to room with her in the nursing home building. A week or so later, Aunt Lois fell during the night and broke her hip, which led to her current stay in the hospital. The day before our visit, she had hip replacement surgery, which led to her kidneys shutting down.
She can’t complain.
How can she not? How can she still find hope? Where does her peace and comfort come from when she gets anxious feelings about her damaged heart, having a hard to manage bacterial infection, going through major surgery, and her organs shutting down? How does she love on me in that hospital room when she is in the midst of making the decision to go through dialysis or go under sedation and quietly leave us all?
She can’t complain…because of Jesus.
Her unwavering faith in her Savior gives her the peace and comfort to live with her infirmities and confidently make the life and death decisions. Her knowledge of the promises in His Word bring her strength to one day slip from this life and into His waiting arms, when He calls her home. His commandment to love one another gives her the ability to love others, even when it would be understandable to focus on herself.
“I never thought I would live to be this old,” she said with gratitude. “I have so many things to be thankful for.”
We talked about her 66 years of marriage. “So many people ask how we stayed together for so long. I tell them it is about being flexible and loving each other to work through the hard times.”
As we continued our visit, I read scripture to her from the hospital Gideon Bible. Her standard request: the 23rd Psalm.
Psalm 23 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Lord the Shepherd of His People
A Psalm of David.
23 The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
3 He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord
Forever.
If you read that passage quickly or skipped over the passage altogether, whether because you know it so well or have no desire for such things, I encourage you to read it slowly. Let the words speak to your soul, words like shepherd, leads, still waters, restores, fear no evil, comfort, prepare, cup runs over, goodness, mercy, all the days of my life, dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.
As we got ready to leave Aunt Lois for the night, the three of us prayed together. I leaned in to hug her, as other family members have done, as they were healthy enough to do so, and laid my cheek on her forehead. She felt cautious (from the infectious C. diff), breathing out, “Oh.” Her body responded in relief and comfort as she put her arm around mine. I could not withhold from her, in possibly her last days, the warmth of skin contact, the touch that bonds humans from birth. After all, I learned to live by my faith and His Word in part from her example; I was now called to walk in that faith and show her love, my sweet Aunt Lois, who had shown me love over my 53 years.
“Dear children, let us not love with words and speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 (NIV)
As Aunt Lois prepares to meet Jesus, we prepare to live with her through memories. I know my nights with her are limited (days, months), but I am grateful for the time that we have left, and I pray that I do not take for granted my time that is left on this earth. It is so easy to let earthly plans get in the way of the true reason we are here, loving God and loving others.
James 4:13-17 (NLT) best sums up my visit with sweet Aunt Lois.
14 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. 15 What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” 16 Otherwise you are boasting about your own pretentious plans, and all such boasting is evil.
17 Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.
My One Desire 
Dawn-this is so powerful and a tribute to your Aunt’s testimony!
Thank you ❤️