We celebrated Aunt Lois and Uncle Jerry’s first birthdays in heaven this past week. They were born four days apart and had been married 66 years. There marriage is a testimony to us all that with hard work, patience, unselfishness, and God in your marriage, you can share a lifetime together.

As I thought about Aunt Lois on her earthly birth date, I had warm feelings of love stemming from beautiful memories. I was missing her, and there was an empty place in my heart, but I wasn’t overwhelmed by sadness.

But when Uncle Jerry’s birthday came four days later, I was overwhelmed with emotion. Tears welled up. My chest tightened. I wanted to cry a deep cleansing cry. Why? I had no idea! Where were the warm feelings of love stemming from beautiful memories? I have those memories of Uncle Jerry. Those times he made me feel like I could accomplish anything. Or when he made special food because he knew I liked it. Or painted a country church on a rock for me, way before rock painting became popular. He had me try chewing tobacco just like my boy cousins. Okay, that one isn’t warm and fuzzy, but it makes me laugh.

At his funeral, I couldn’t stop crying. Uncle Jerry was strong, invincible, in my mind. Strong people like Uncle Jerry seemingly should live forever. The night before he died, my mom called to say he wasn’t doing well. It was late. I was tired. I didn’t want to bother him if he was resting. I felt a tugging in my spirit to go, but I decided I would go right after work the next day. He passed away the next morning, just before the school day started. I couldn’t believe it; I had missed the chance to say goodbye! That day, I didn’t just have an empty place in my heart, my heart was broken. My strong Uncle Jerry was gone.

If I am going to have peace about Uncle Jerry leaving, I need to remember that he is happy in heaven. He is safe and forever with Aunt Lois. He has seen the face of Jesus! I can’t go back for a final goodbye, but I have many wonderful memories for my future. He wouldn’t want me to cry. He would want me to rejoice in the saving grace of Jesus. Rejoice that, one day, I will be there, too.

So, happy birthday, Uncle Jerry! I love you, and I will see you again, one day. Get ready for an enormous hug! Oh, and we will be able to hear each other, loud and clear!

I went out for a 4 mile run. It started raining lightly at about 1 1/2 miles. At almost 2 miles, it started to downpour, and the wind was blowing hard. I stopped under a pine tree to see if it would let up. After a few minutes, it lightened up a little, but the wind was still strong. I was cooling off, so I started running. I had a decision to make: stop early or finish my 4 miles. It would have been easy to give up (cold, windy, wet), but I didn’t want to stop just because it got a little tough. Sometimes, life is hard. So I kept going. I thought about what I tell my students when times get difficult, and I started focusing on the positive and counting my blessings. 

• I was already wet, so why not keep running? 
• I was provided shelter when the rain was at it’s hardest. 
• I was physically capable of running. 
• I was going to finish my 4 miles. 
• I had my best pace of the season.
• I was on Spring Break. 
• It was Saturday. No, wait…it was Friday (Spring Break brain). 

Then I thought about what Friday it was, Good Friday. I reflected on Jesus’ agony on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins, my sins. I thought about the pain of being ridiculed, mocked, physically beaten, and the torture of crucifixion. I prayed a prayer of thanks as I finished my cold, rainy run with a very grateful heart for the love of God. 

I am participating in a 21 day, no junk food challenge with some friends (no sweets, chips, white bread, etc.). Today is day seven, and I have been strong up to this point. I put away the Golden Oreos, rearranged the Lindor Chocolate Truffles, and passed on making Rice Krispies Treats with a strong determination to replace those sweets with fresh fruits and vegetables. I snubbed temptation when warm Olive Garden breadsticks were sitting on the table right next to my hand. And for six days, I sailed through every obstacle.

But today? Today was my first true test of will power – hot, chocolate pudding and ice cream. It is one of the occasional dairy items I consume, knowing I will pay the price later with a painful gut.

My students made the pudding in cooking class. Watching the warm, chocolate glob melt the creamy whiteness as I dished it out drove me crazy! Then, I set about washing the dishes (out of time for students to do the washing). Alone in the kitchen holding the spoon, I visualized how it would feel in my mouth and taste on my tongue. I thought, “Will eating this and cheating a little on the challenge bring disaster?” Of course not! I mean, pudding is not inherently evil; a small lick or spoonful is not going to ruin my life. God created chocolate and wants us to enjoy His creation, right? Besides, no one was looking. Who would ever know?

But here is the reason I stayed strong and put hot, soapy water in the pot and rinsed the spoon. I made a commitment. I promised to stay true to this challenge for 21 days, no licks or bites involved. And even though I was alone in the kitchen in that moment, later my daily status update would have to ring true. So, I turned my focus from chocolate pudding and thanked God for creating wonderful foods that are useful for our bodies, like blackberries, walnuts, and avocados.

Lesson learned on day seven: yearn for the Creator, not the creation.

What a week! It started with a spotty rash, itching, and skin crawling…back to safe diet (no dairy, peanuts, etc.). Doc said mold counts were high earlier in the week, and a week long freeze would help (not the remedy I had in mind). Friday ended the week with me hitting my head on a fire extinguisher and gashing my scalp. I thought that was the cherry on top of a week of stressors, but no.

Last night, someone decided to throw an egg at our house. Luckily it only hit the stone and not Brad’s new car. Over the last 10 years, we have had a bottle rocket launched into our garage, a giant picture of male genitalia spray painted in gold on our garage door, and now the egg.

But, when this life gets tough, when our spirit gets down, when we feel overwhelmed, God still sits on his throne, watches over us, and waits for us to join Him in heaven. He provided a friend to come assess the gash on my head. This morning, on my Facebook feed, post after post from my friends’ pages were clearly the voice of The Lord speaking directly to my pain and frustrations of this week. What peace that brought my soul! What an attitude adjustment I received! And my heart sincerely cries out, “Thank you, Lord!”

What is the most important thing in your life? In my life it is my relationship with God. He is my Creator, my heavenly Father, my Savior, and Lord of my life. My one desire is to follow Him, worship Him, and live my life for Him. Unfortunately, sometimes life’s distraction pull my attention away from my one desire. In writing about this journey, I hope to keep my focus on Him in the middle of the chaotic times as well as the quiet moments.